You'll get through this - by Max Lucado
Mom’s Graveside
The one-year mark from my mother’s passing of glioblastoma brain cancer is approaching this month. My siblings and I often will text each other pictures or text messages we come across of/from mom, so last night was no different; other than the image of my mother’s beautiful face was texted to me at a moment I was laying on my bed in tears at the pain felt from her absence. The picture only deepened the sobs and prolonged the good cry. As quickly as this year seems to have gone by, it still only feels like yesterday that she passed. My sister put it well in a text replying to that picture that she just can’t believe how permanent this is - my mom no longer being present with us here on earth. As I went to bed I thanked God for my siblings and for my dad - just knowing they are alive helps me know we will get through this.
As I woke this morning my mind flooded with many names and faces who are or have recently faced troubled times. Those who just learned of a tumor growing in their body and are prepping for surgery. Those who recently lost a loved one and are discovering their days of new normal. Those who are struggling with the helplessness of watching their child suffer pain and heartache and not being able to do much to provide relief. Those who are battling an illness yet still needing to provide for their families. Those who have just learned of a troubling temptation or betrayal by their spouse. Those who have been heavily impacted by the troubles of this year and aren’t sure how they are going to make ends meet financially. There are so many in pain, so many in despair, so many who may be silently crying out, “Lord, please help me through this!”
Max Lucado’s book “You’ll get through this" - hope and help for your turbulent times” reminds us that going through trials in life “won’t be painless, it won’t be quick. But God will use this mess for good. Don’t be foolish or naive. But don’t despair either. With God’s help, you’ll get through this.” From the first chapter Lucado highlights Genesis 50:20, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive (NASB).” So often I have had to cling to this verse during hardships, to remember that what Satan has meant for my harm, God CAN, and WANTS to use for our good. Just as gold has to be refined, fruit often bears in the midst of affliction too.
During our pain, we can sometimes make foolish errors. Whether it be lashing out at someone, saying something we can’t take back, or making stupid decisions we will regret later. Lucado cautions us not to lose our legacy amidst the difficulties, yet rather continue to do what is right and trust the Lord (referring to Psalm 4:5). Even our troubles are times we are trusted with by God - and Matthew 25:21 tells us that “if we are faithful with a few matters, he will set you over many.” That does not mean we will inherit more or less pain, but it is reminding us that we can learn from what we are going through. It does mean that perhaps God will use the matter to actually “help you become the person God intends you to be.” I have tried throughout these past years of trials to ask God to teach me and grow me through the difficulties - that if I am going to have to go through something tough, I at least want to learn something as result and grow individually through it. That learning doesn’t come right away - sometimes God’s answer is yes, sometimes his answer is no, but often his answer is to wait.
During our pain, we often will have a temptation to grow bitter and resentful. Lucado provides scripture after scripture of God’s view on such perspective - that we should not repay back harm to those who hurt us (Roman 12:17), we should keep such evil speaking away from us (Ephesians 4:31) and not let the weeds of discontentment grow (Hebrews 12:15). Only God can bring discipline, justice, and ultimatly those who have wronged you to their knees or to their senses. Only God can bring about restoration, healing, and peace. Hence Him calling us to “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
I know for myself in this past year I have seen what I hesitate to call “good” as I miss my mom so much.
My mother tried for years to get a ministry of music at our church. The guy who sang at her funeral (the very man she had been trying to get come serve as that position) was called as the minister of music as a result of singing at her funeral.
My mom encouraged me for years to publish my written work. It was a letter to a magazine after mom passed, thanking them for their influence on me and my mom throughout the years that opened the door to have my work published in that very magazine.
This doesn’t heal the pain and it doesn’t remove the question “why God?” which often surfaces, but it does help me to focus on what we can learn through the heartache, and have hope that He will work all out for our good, and for His glory.
Lucado points out that “God doesn’t manufacture pain, but he certainly puts it to use.” So in the midst of the storms of life maintain self-control, trust in God’s goodness, don’t allow the “pain to paralyze you,” the “sadness overwhelm you” or for “fear to intimidate you” because you, my friend, WILL get through this.
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